


It'll Get Better

by Civilbloodoncivilhands



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 00:43:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19366828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Civilbloodoncivilhands/pseuds/Civilbloodoncivilhands
Summary: Bench scene! Cyrus and Tj still have some things to work out concerning Kira, and shirts, and some very gay feelings





	It'll Get Better

Cyrus couldn’t help but feel that this was his fault. He knew the risk of falling for popular, cool, athletic, straight boys. He had been through this with Jonah once and once really should have been enough, but apparently Cyrus had a weakness for nice eyes and soft-looking hair because, against his better judgement, he had let himself hope that things could be different this time. But then Kira turned up and TJ started spending all his time with her and Cyrus felt his heart being crushed once again except this time it was so much worse because Cyrus’s crush had developed gradually and naturally the more he got to know TJ whereas, with Jonah, the more he got to know the boy the more his crush faded.

And now he was sitting outside, alone, in Andi’s grandmother’s backyard while a going away party for one of his best friends was being thrown inside because he couldn’t stand the thought of running into TJ (who had been invited as well) and have things turn awkward. The warm, yellow light being cast from the windows coupled with the fact that he could hear people laughing through the open door only served to make Cyrus feel worse. He wanted to be able to support Andi and spend as much time as possible with her before she left for Art school, but he really didn’t want to bring the mood down. It was sad enough that she was going to be moving four hours away, he couldn’t bother her with his love life right now. It just wouldn’t be fair.

Cyrus let out an agonized sigh and closed his eyes, leaning back against the bench and feeling the coolness of the metal seep through his jacket, and into his fingertips. The fire crackling in front of him cast a warm shadow against his face and the conflicting feeling of being physically hot and cold at the same time seemed painfully ironic as it was exactly how he was feeling inside.

“Hey.” Cyrus startled and banged his head against the back of the bench. He hadn’t heard anyone approaching. He opened his eyes to see TJ standing there smiling at him softly with a look of mild concern in his eyes.

“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you.”

TJ reached out his hand as if to touch the back of Cyrus’s head then seemed to think better of it and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets, shuffling awkwardly, “Um…is that seat taken?”

“Yeah. I mean no. I mean… I’m fine, and…um…the seat’s not taken.” Cyrus gestured to the space beside him and TJ took it gratefully shooting him another gentle smile. Cyrus’s heart skipped a couple dozen beats and he resolved to not look at TJ for the rest of the night. The last thing he needed was to go into cardiac arrest because a cute boy smiled at him. He turned away to face the fire and TJ did the same.

They sat there in awkward silence for a very painful ten minutes and Cyrus was just about to get up and excuse himself when TJ spoke, “You gave the shirt to Jonah.”

That definitely wasn’t what Cyrus was expecting to hear and he couldn’t help but notice that the other boy sounded a little jealous. He must have really liked the shirt.

“Yeah. It goes with his eyes,” Cyrus turned to face TJ only to find the other boy already looking at him. Cyrus stopped breathing for a second as he took in the look of hurt and vulnerability on TJ’s face; he felt like he had just kicked a puppy and oh if TJ could just stop existing in Cyrus’s general vicinity that would be great. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if you actually wanted it or not.”

“Of course I wanted it,” Cyrus felt something light brush against the back of his hand and he glanced down to see that TJ had taken his own hands out of his pockets and was now resting one on his knee, the fingers brushing feather light against Cyrus’s. In that moment Cyrus’s brain short-circuited and he froze, not wanting to move an inch in case the contact wasn’t intentional and TJ backed away. TJ continued speaking and Cyrus tried to focus on what he was saying, but he was hyper aware of every accidental brush against the back of his hand and it felt as though that was the only part of his body that had ever been warm ever. As if his hand was on fire and everything else was numb and inconsequential because it wasn’t being touched by TJ Kippen.

“I’m sorry for ditching you lately,” Brush.

“It kind of felt like I had to hang out with Kira,” Brush.

“Like bad things would happen if I didn’t,” Brush.

“And I’d tell you what except I’m not that brave,” Brush, brush, brush. Cyrus felt like he was about to burst into flame, and his breathing was constricted and shallow, and he wanted nothing more than to flip his hand over and just grab TJ’s, but he didn’t. Because that would be stupid and he’d only be let down and he really _really_ couldn’t go through the pain of having his already unstable heart be broken again.

The fire sparked and crackled in front of them, and the moon cast a soft, white glow over the garden. It was one of the most romantic situations Cyrus had ever found himself in and he couldn’t help but give in just a little to his heart’s desperate wish that this meant as much to TJ as it did to him. Cyrus’s mind was cluttered and empty all at the same time as he tried to make sense of the thoughts racing through his head, but his brain seemed to be malfunctioning because all it could come up with was: _Jonah shirt. TJ. Hand. Fire is hot. Tj hot. Moon. Shirt. Shirt. TJ TJ TJ TJ TJ –_

“Cyrus?” TJ whispered his name so softly, as if it was the only thing in the world that mattered, and Cyrus looked up from their hands only to find TJ looking at him with that same softness. As if Cyrus was the only person that ever did and ever would matter.

“Yeah?” He whispered back so quietly he wasn’t even sure TJ heard.

“I miss you.”

Oh. White noise filled Cyrus’s head and his brain decided to malfunction again this time getting stuck on _He misses me he misses me he misses he misses me he misses me_. TJ brushed the back of Cyrus’s hand again, but this time it was firmer and surer and there was no way it could have been unintentional. Cyrus whipped his head back down to look at their hands and saw TJ’s fingers resting gently against his.

“Is there anything to want to tell _me_?” TJ’s voice sounded the exact same way Cyrus felt, unsure and scared and nervous and excited all at once.

_So much,_ he thought. _There’s so much I want to tell you. How proud I am of you and how far you’ve come. How much nicer you are. And how funny and clever and kind and silly you are. I want to thank you for helping me that day in the cafeteria when we first met and then for helping me calm down on the swings and for not making fun of me when I sang my stupid little song. I want to thank you for teaching me how to do a somersault and for believing in me when it seemed no one else did. I want to thank you for pushing me when I didn’t have the courage to push myself and for always telling me the truth even though sometimes it hurt. I want to thank you for being the kind of person that I’m proud to fall in love with, but I also want to tell you how **mad** I am that you threw away our entire relationship for some girl! Even though you don’t know how much I feel for you I thought our friendship meant more than that and I thought that the moments we shared together were special, not to be joked about and laughed away with other people. But the most important thing that I want to tell you – that I need to tell you – that I cannot hold back anymore because if I do I **will** physically combust is this:_

Cyrus raised his eyes to look at TJ full on and for the first time in a really long time he knew everything was going to be okay, “I really like you TJ.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Cyrus watched as TJ’s face flooded with happiness, his mouth stretching into a wide grin, and his nose scrunching up adorably. Cyrus’s heart then did about ten thousand somersaults, and skipped a couple hundred beats as he realized TJ was looking at him the way he was always worried he would look at TJ. Every time they hung out Cyrus had tried desperately to dial it back, but he didn’t have to now and, as it turned out, TJ didn’t either. They had both liked each other for so long, Cyrus realized, it was difficult to keep the giddiness from flowing over now that they were allowed to be honest with one another.

This boy sitting right in front of him, staring at him with the softest look in his eyes, was an absolute dork, and a mess, and completely smitten and Cyrus couldn’t believe that someone as incredible as TJ could be looking at him like that.  

TJ laughed and Cyrus did too, flipping his hand over so they were now properly holding hands and it all felt so warm and so right.

“And even though Jonah has really nice eyes,” Cyrus teased, “I think yours are my favourite.”

TJ laughed again then squeezed his hand gently and leaned in towards Cyrus, eyes flickering to look at his lips before glancing back up, his face the most open and loving it had ever been, “Cyrus?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re my favourite person.”

“I think you’re mine too.”

They both leaned in all the way and giggled when their noses bumped awkwardly against each other, repositioning a bit before their lips finally connected. Cyrus reached up to run his hands through TJ’s hair and let out a murmur of surprise when it turned out to be even softer than he had expected. TJ started to giggle, mumbling something about being such a bad kisser he’d scare Cyrus away, but Cyrus just pulled him closer crushing their mouths together even more except that they were both grinning so much their lips barely touched at all. They both pulled back out of breath with laughter and TJ snorted which was possibly the most adorable sound Cyrus had ever heard coming from anyone ever.

“It’ll get better,” breathed out TJ in a fit of giggles, “I promise!”

“Of course,” Cyrus said, too busy gasping for air to say anything more. _It already has._

**Author's Note:**

> They will kiss on the bench! I speak it into existence bc im gay and i say so


End file.
